


From Zero, A Songfic

by ScarlettSiren, w0nheaux



Category: K-pop, Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Black Kpop Collective, Collaboration, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Mutual Pining, RPF, Real Life, Writing Wednesdays
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-16
Updated: 2017-08-16
Packaged: 2018-12-12 07:45:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,000
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11732658
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ScarlettSiren/pseuds/ScarlettSiren, https://archiveofourown.org/users/w0nheaux/pseuds/w0nheaux
Summary: They almost had something more, once upon a time, but never took that plunge… too afraid to ruin what they already had. But with Hyungwon reeling from a highly publicized breakup following a disastrous relationship, he realizes that Wonho is the one keeping him together… and he might be willing to start again, From Zero.





	From Zero, A Songfic

**Author's Note:**

> Just a note from one of the authors. I’m not here to vilify anyone who’s ever dated an idol. So while comments may be made about a certain woman who has dated Hyungwon, this is based entirely on her individual character and actions after their breakup. This is in no way a reflection on any person who dates an idol. This fic does not in any way encourage hating on those who date idols!

“Naneun yeogiissda.” Hyungwon announced as he entered the practice studio. It was one he wasn’t entirely accustomed to being in… there was a much smaller floor available for dance practice than their usual rooms, and in the far corner a baby grand piano sat gleaming under the fluorescent lights. Mirrors lined the back wall just as all the other practice rooms, so he supposed it wasn’t such a strange choice of venue.

“Ah, Hyungwon, thank you for coming.” Wonho said, standing up from where he’d been hunched over tuning the piano.

“The others said you had some kind of stage you wanted to talk to me about?” Hyungwon set down his duffel and perched himself up on a nearby counter so he could sit comfortably. “I didn’t see our names on the current setlists in any of the other units, so I assumed you had something in mind for us. You could have just told me yourself… but you weren’t home when I got up, so-”

“I went to work out early and I didn’t want to wake you yet.” Wonho explained, smiling somewhat nervously as he handed Hyungwon a single page of sheet music. “I’ve highlighted which parts I felt would suit you. I’ll play it for you, since you don’t read music.”

He sat down at the piano and cleared his throat, taking a deep breath to try to relieve the tension he was feeling. He hadn’t played in ages, but as he was working on this song, he picked it up again so he could present it to Hyungwon with some kind of accompaniment before any official mixing took place. He let out a breath slowly and began to play, singing softly along with his own sheet music.

# From Zero

Hyungwon was certain his jaw was on the floor, so he shut his mouth to stop his gaping, though he still blinked slowly at Wonho, no idea where to even begin.

That reaction clearly didn’t sit well with Wonho, apparently, who stood up from the piano and shuffled over with his own copy of the sheet music, highlighted in a different color. “If you wanted to switch the verses, or if you don’t like it...”

“What is this?” Hyungwon asked flatly, probably too bluntly and his tone lacking any discerning emotion. “Did you… Wonho, did you write this?”

The question almost seemed accusatory, and Wonho wondered if he’d pushed things too far again, like before. He’d only meant for this to be a gift… a proverbial olive branch, after watching Hyungwon’s recent spiral as a result of that horrible relationship. He wanted the other man to know he was there, that he always would be, and this was the only way he could possibly convey everything without choking up on his own fears.

“Yes.” He replied, finally. “I… I wrote it… for us.” There was a distinct pause wherein Wonho pressed his lips together in a sort of self-depreciating smile. “To dance to, together.”

“You wrote it… for us?” Hyungwon murmured, blinking owlishly at the sheet music in his hand.

Wonho nodded. “I thought we could… start again. And this time-”

He stopped, because for a moment, time stopped, or so it seemed… Hyungwon had flown toward him, throwing his arms around his neck and pressing their lips together. He clutched at his hyung’s shirt in something like desperation, and Wonho didn't hesitate for a single moment before wrapping him up in his arms, their sheet music fluttering to the floor, forgotten. Hyungwon _melted_ , pulling back scarcely enough to take a breath and press his face into the nape of Wonho’s neck.

“I made a mistake… such an idiotic, foolish mistake… I was so afraid of this… what it could do to us, to the group… that I stayed with her when it wasn’t what I wanted, and I didn’t realize how horrible it would turn out… and now, all these lies… and people are saying those awful things. What if the company-”

Wonho shushed him softly, pressing his thumb against those familiar plush lips… the same ones he’d once claimed were his favorite feature of Hyungwon’s for all the world to hear (and it was still true), His other hand came up to wipe away the tears that were streaming down his face. He shook his head, smiling softly. “Don’t worry about your mistakes, or mine, or anyone else’s. Let’s just start over, hm?”

Hyungwon let out a sob of a laugh, nodding and pulling his hyung close again. He held fistful’s of the other man’s shirt like a lifeline, too afraid to let go.

Their choreography could surely wait until tomorrow. This was what truly mattered.

***

In the following days, they began working on a simple but elegant routine to go with the song while Wonho simultaneously toiled with the studio on the accompanying audio track. Hyungwon kept just as busy, bouncing between practices with Wonho and also the backup dancers who would be joining them for the first leg of the tour.

One day he suffered a small injury, but didn’t think anything of it, simply pushing through. Wonho had once danced for forty-eight hours with two broken fingers… so surely Hyungwon told himself he could manage a few practices with a skinned knee, bruised though it was.

Over the course of the next week, they had settled on a final version of the choreography and got to work on memorizing and perfecting it. That much came easily… a developed habit over years of hard training in dance, though they did sometimes find themselves distracted. Quite often their dance practices devolved into them tangled up on the floor and giggling like idiots after one of them had started a tickling match, or had kept tugging at the other’s shirt or trying to confuse them during the choreography in jest.

Practice with the others for the group stages was going well, too… Hyungwon seemed lighter; more carefree. He’d always played well with the others but things were seemingly better than ever. He didn’t seem to hold back from teasing Wonho, just as he did to the others and the others to him. It was… comfortable. Not to mention that it made practices infinitely more fun.

But of course things going so well could not possibly last forever. Hyungwon began to feel run down, becoming tired very quickly and nearly fainting during several of the group practices. Wonho called for less and less individual practices just trying to make things easier on him, but his condition only worsened.

Hyungwon was sluggishly wading through the From Zero choreo by the third runthrough on one particular day, and Wonho took notice. The younger man hadn’t had a lack of sleep… they both had gone to bed rather early the night before, and he hadn’t stirred at all when Wonho left for the gym early in the morning. This condition of his was clearly not improving.

“If you're sick, we should take a break.” Wonho told him, worry etched across his brow. His expressions were always so open and earnest, especially when they were out of the spotlight like this. He never had to guess what his hyung was feeling; it was written right there on his face.

“Not sick… I just feel… I don't know. Not right.” At the unamused look that earned from Wonho, he huffed. “I can't describe it.”

“You can, you just don't want to admit you feel ill.” Wonho wheedled. “We should stop.”

“I’ll be fine. Fighting!” Hyungwon quipped in a sort of sarcastic tone he would’ve never said it in had he been in front of fans. He almost seemed to be mocking the phrase. He was clearly not feeling well at all. But, Wonho knew better than to continue arguing with him, and so they practiced and practiced until they were both dripping in sweat and the younger man was wobbling on his feet.

“Let’s call it.” Wonho said, burying his face in a soft, white towel to mop off the sweat. He raked it over his scalp, his hair fluffing up ridiculously as he did so.

Hyungwon seemed a little irritated, but reached up to flatten the unruly strands on his hyung’s head with a fond expression regardless. “I can do it. One more time.”

“Who says I'm stopping for you?” Wonho quipped, throwing the towel around his own neck and holding the ends of it. “We've been at it for hours.”

“Don't act innocent. One more.” The younger man insisted.

Wonho chuckled, shaking his head. He put a strong hand on Hyungwon’s shoulder, pushing down. Tired and his legs shaking, the taller man’s knees buckled and he fell to them, looking up with a pout.

“Just this part, then.” Wonho drawled in a low voice, running his fingers from Hyungwon’s nape, up the column of his neck and across his jaw, much more slowly than the choreography called for. He let his grip linger under the other man’s chin, holding his gaze for several long seconds.

“Tch, pabo.” Hyungwon grumbled, but didn't argue further as his hyung leaned down and kissed his forehead.

***

Wonho may have been acutely aware of how much Hyungwon's current condition was impacting him, but regardless, they persisted. He continued to push through every practice, despite the malaise he’d described to his hyung in the days before. He knew something felt wrong, but he wasn’t sure what. He’d only minorly injured himself during an earlier practice, the healing scab on his knee still evidence of that. But he didn’t feel ill. He just felt… wrong. Off. Bad.

Wonho couldn’t help but take notice. During their first tour performances, his movements were fluid, but sloppy… almost lazy. Not at all the impassioned choreography they had perfected together. They weren’t entirely in-sync, either… Hyungwon trailing a little behind, and then suddenly a bit ahead as he overcompensated to catch up. His expression did not outwardly convey his frustration, but there was a tired apathy there that was so unlike him. Wonho forced himself to remain focused on the performance, but every spare glance was saved for Hyungwon, worry etched across his brow, even as he smiled for the fans. 

_I know that I'm lacking a lot_  
_Sorry for the things I couldn't do_  
_I thought it was certain you'd always be by my side_  
_I am tricked again by time little by little_

Hyungwon’s condition only worsened, and after getting Shownu on his case, they convinced him to ask the company to let him see a doctor. He must have been fed up with feeling awful because he agreed without much argument after that. Wonho hoped it was nothing… but some part of him knew it needed to be something, something to explain why the younger man was feeling awful. Something that could be fixed. He just wanted him to be all right again. The others were becoming worried as well… noticing Hyungwon’s sluggishness, his short responses and apathetic attitude. They all knew something was wrong.

The next day, they finally knew. Cellulitis, they’d diagnosed him with… something serious enough that the company would let him take the time off, even in the middle of such a crucial tour. Hyungwon was, of course, upset that he would be disappointing their fans, but there was some part of him that seemed relieved to be getting help for this condition that had been bogging him down for over weeks.

They'd caught it early… another relief, and a lucky break. At the current stage, it wasn't deadly and could easily be prevented from becoming so. Hyungwon’s bandmates teasingly babied him, though their genuine concern showed through their facade of humor. A press release would be going out to let the fans know about the change to the roster for their upcoming US tour, and guilt was obviously gnawing at him for not being able to perform.

The night before they were to leave for the states, Wonho laid in bed with Hyungwon curled against his chest, a pathetic look of defeat on his face. He rubbed soft patterns into the other man’s shoulder with his fingers, hand trailing up to bury into his hair and scratch gently at his scalp every so often. The others were all dog-piled on the couch together in a tangle of limbs, but Hyungwon had mostly kept to his bedroom thanks to the new medications he was on making him drowsy. Wonho had largely stuck by his side, knowing they'd be apart soon.

“It's our first real US tour.” Hyungwon whined weakly for what was probably the eightieth time, most of the fight out of him by now. If he had tracked his emotions through the five stages of grief, he was likely toeing the line of acceptance as it stood.

“I know. But there will be others. Many of the stops sold out. Monbebes are passionate.” Wonho assured gently.

That just made the other man groan. “And Monbebe will be so disappointed we aren't all there…”

“Monbebe will understand.” Wonho insisted, kissing the top of his head. “Your recovery is important. Please rest and take care of yourself since I can't watch you when I'm away.”

“I'm not a child.” Hyungwon grumbled.

Wonho laughed. “Could have fooled me.”

The younger man sat up and smacked him in the side, just causing him to laugh harder. When he resorted to tickling, Wonho just gathered him up in his arms, holding the other man tight against his chest. Hyungwon finally just sighed and melted into it.

“Fine.” Ah, there it was. The acceptance. “But you have to Face Time me daily, and record as much as you can.”

“I will. It'll feel like you're there. Promise.” Wonho spoke, lips buried in the other man’s hair.

“No it won't.” Hyungwon replied, melancholy. “But thank you anyway.”

 _Now I can't erase it and I can't forget it,_  
_but if it can't be reversed I want to start from now_

One could get used to the blinding stage lights, but tonight, they were oppressive. Wonho found comfort in the other members, but he still found himself glancing over, looking for the member who was not there. He stepped up for his ment, having been asked to speak about the From Zero stage. He felt his throat tighten. It was never meant to be performed like that; solo with a stand-in backup dancer all in black. He’d given it his all, but it still felt as though there was a hole in his heart. It hadn’t been _right_.

“I wrote this song so that I would be able to dance with Hyungwon.”

The translator finished his sentence and the audience let out an amalgam of sympathetic sounds, cheers and squeals. Wonho pressed his lips together and gave a nod. He wasn't sure how to express things beyond that. Perhaps he didn't feel the need.

 

City after city, Wonho said the same thing. The more he repeated it, the more the other members could tell that he really missed Hyungwon. The boys were positive that the fans couldn't tell as they still screamed and cheered when Wonho did the key dance with Hyungwon's substitute dancer - but they could see Wonho's heart aching. Their trained eyes could tell that the same amount of passion just wasn't there. While there was nothing anything of them could do to speed up Hyungwon's recovery, the members thought that could bring Wonho’s spirits up. Suggesting Minhyuk was obvious since Wonho was close with Minhyuk as well. 

"How about instead of the backup dancer taking Hyungwon’s place, Minhyuk joins you for that stage?" Shownu suggested while they were monitoring the performance from the night before. Wonho did not look away from the screen in front of him."Changkyun and I could do the '24K Magic' stage… Jooheon and Kihyun's stage would stay the same..." 

"That’s not going to fucking happen." Wonho snapped from behind clenched teeth. The other members shifted in their seats as Shownu’s face contorted with shocked confusion. Wonho didn’t mean for it to come out with such vitriol, especially towards the leader.

“Choesonghamnida,” Wonho quickly apologized while turning towards his hyung so he could give him a proper bow to display his sincerity. Shownu nodded in acceptance and turned to look at Minhyuk, whose usual sunny disposition had left his eyes. Minhyuk was not a member of the dance line and his struggles with learning choreography were well known amongst the members.

Wonho sighed deeply and turned to Minhyuk, “It’s not that I doubt your ability to do the stage with me, it’s just I wrote this song specifically for Hyungwon and I. Hyungwon worked really hard to choreograph the stage. If we were to have you stand in for him, that would hurt him.” Wonho paused and looked into Minhyuk’s eyes. “I just can’t do that to him.” 

Minhyuk had heard the whispers of the others, of just how very protective Wonho was of Hyungwon… but he had never seen it with his own eyes before. Minhyuk could tell Wonho was deeply hurt by the leader’s suggestion and was on the brink of tears. “Gwenchana hyung, I understand.”

Wanting desperately to get rid of the tension in the air, Minhyuk returned to his usual upbeat self, “We should go get dinner before it becomes too late.”

The others agreed, and while Wonho did join them, he didn’t eat much, and spoke very little, clearly distracted.

 _Trust me once more_  
_We are standing here from zero_  
_I want to know everything about you again_  
_Even if it's difficult, from zero_  
_I want you to be in my embrace again_

Late in the morning on the twenty-second of July, one of their rest days between concerts, one of their managers called a meeting. They all piled into Shownu and Minhyuk’s room, since they hadn’t bothered unpacking yet after their arrival in LA and the room was therefore the least cluttered. The manager entered the room and wore a somber face for as much of the delivery as he could, but… it was rather impossible since he was bringing good news.

“Hyungwon is currently on a flight heading here to LA, and he will be joining you for the last two shows here in the US.”

The boys practically erupted in cheers, faces alight in surprise and excitement. They all looked to Wonho, seeing that he was beaming. Finally, they would all be together again. The manager let them know to expect him later in the afternoon and to use the day to rest before taking his leave.

***

Wonho was thrumming with energy, so much so that he felt jittery. He wanted to call Hyungwon, but he was still in the air… the sneaky brat, trying to surprise him and not tell him! They’d spoken on the phone the night before and he hadn’t said anything about it. Not to mention that Wonho was acutely aware that he was suddenly starving. He felt like he hadn’t eaten much in days. Remembering all the times his bandmates had handed him American snack foods or nudged his plate a bit at dinner made him realize that maybe he hadn’t been eating as much as he should have.

He ended up ordering what was probably far too much food, shoveling it down while he broadcasted for his fans, letting them know that Hyungwon would be joining them soon and that they were both very excited, as were the others. The fans, of course, were ecstatic that they’d get to see the full group together again, even if only just for the last two concerts of the US tour. 

Later that night, in the hours before Hyungwon was meant to arrive, Wonho was pacing. It had started with him merely being jittery… bouncing his leg, shifting in his seat, sighing and thumbing through his phone too quickly to actually take anything in. His anxiousness reached a peak and eventually he just shot up and started burning tracks into the carpet. Kihyun made to speak up, make a quip about it or something, but the others just grimaced and shook their heads in warning. Best not to make things worse, which was the likely impact of their involving themselves.

Finally, after what felt like an eternity, the hotel door lock beeped, then clicked, and the door opened.

“Naneun yeogiissda!” Hyungwon piped up excitedly as he made a somewhat dramatic entrance, letting go of his suitcase to throw his arms up and cock out his hip.

All the boys burst into ecstatic cheers, but Wonho practically dove for him, pulling him into a fierce hug. The others piled on, creating a bit of a chaotic scene as Hyungwon stumbled into the room the rest of the way, laughing and nearly tripping over at least three of them.

The manager that had let him in had the good sense to move his bag into the room before taking their leave, shaking their head but smiling in amusement.

They chatted animatedly for a moment, asking about his flight, how he was feeling and even talking about the great turnouts they’d had so far at the concerts.

“We thought Wonho was going to need a therapist though.” Minhyuk wheedled, poking at said man’s side. He hadn’t let go of Hyungwon; he had his arm around his shoulders now, like he was afraid his bandmate might evaporate. “If it weren't for Face Time he may have turned catatonic.”

Hyungwon chortled, “This pabo!” 

Wonho side eyed him, and faked like he was leaving the embrace. “Ya Hyungwon-ah.”

Hyungwon laughed and pulled his hyung back into the embrace. “Aw, poor Wonhonnie. I’m here now.” Hyungwon said teasingly, though it was somehow reassuring. He held Wonho’s cheeks and nuzzled their noses together with a smile that made Wonho’s heart melt. His sleeves were so long that his hands weren’t even touching his hyung’s face. He felt a pang in his chest… God, how he’d missed him. He folded himself against the taller man, tucking his head at the nape of his neck. Hyungwon leaned into the gesture contentedly, grinning.

The others just smiled, letting out sighs of relief. They were whole again. Everyone could feel it.

“Oh~!” Changkyun piped up in a suggestive tone, noticing the little gift bag atop Hyungwon’s suitcase. “Did a fan give you a gift?”

“It's for Jooheon.” Hyungwon replied in a high-pitched, feminine lilting tone, batting his eyelashes and all but throwing it at the man.

Jooheon grabbed it before it could fall, making a face before they all burst out laughing again.

Wonho didn’t let go of Hyungwon all evening, and they slept tangled together as they often did, soundly through the night.

_Trust me once more_  
_I want to know everything about you again_

It was Hyungwon’s first performance since returning, but he slipped back into the routine so naturally it was like he’d never left. Wonho had managed to peel himself away for long enough to not be entirely obvious about his codependence to everyone around them, but he stole his usual soft pecks and light swats to that perky butt in passing during their costume changes. By the time they were sliding into their glittering jackets in preparation for From Zero, Wonho was practically vibrating in anticipation. 

“Nervous? That’s unlike you, hyung.” The taller man teased, pursing his lips mockingly.

“Not nervous. Excited to have you back for this.” Wonho replied, his eyes so earnest and caring. “This is our stage. It felt wrong without you.”

Hyungwon’s expression softened, and he leaned in to kiss his temple softly. “I’m glad to be back, too. Are you ready?” Wonho nodded and in complete unison the pair yelled “Hwaiting!” and cackled as they turned to take their marks.

“Gidaryeo!” Wonho whispered, grabbing Hyungwon’s wrist. “Take the upper stage this time.”

The younger man furrowed his brow. “Huh? But…we always start on the lower together-?”

“It's your first night back. You should make an entrance.” Wonho insisted. “It will be good.”

“O-okay…” With that, Hyungwon headed up the steps to get into position on the upper stage, and Wonho watched him go fondly before making his way to his own mark.

The audience cried out excitedly as the spotlight came up on Hyungwon. Wonho, his back to the audience, made a ridiculous face at him, and it caused the other man to laugh mid-lyric. He tried hiding it behind his hand as he adjusted his microphone. Wonho could imagine him reciting a mantra in his head about how this was a serious song and he should act that way. Wonho himself was having trouble keeping in his own laughter. He wiggled his nose and mouth to steel his expression, and by the time he started his verse, he had mastered it.

The swell of shrieks from the audience when the spotlight hit him was jarring, louder than it was for his bandmate. He knew Monbebes had their preferences, and the fact that he was shirtless under his glittering jacket was likely a factor, but he couldn't help but feel a jab of something like resentment… he wanted everyone to see Hyungwon as he did, and in some way it hurt that their reaction for him wasn’t quite as strong.

Of course, Hyungwon would only tease him about his muscles and encourage him to show them off just a little more, to make the Monbebes go crazy. He would smile ear to ear and giggle while preening over his hyung’s well-defined chest, just as all the members did. They loved to show him off. He wondered which took more pride in it… Wonho himself, or his bandmates?

Hyungwon had to stifle another smile, because every time Wonho’s lapels shifted even slightly to reveal an extra inch or two of his chest, surely enough the Monbebes screamed in delight. Somehow it felt like a scheme of his own concocting had come to fruition… and Hyungwon felt victorious with every cheer. Wonho himself seemed less amused, but he worked the crowd expertly as always.

Their choreography, now, was entirely in-sync, and Wonho could see the passion had returned to Hyungwon's movements. He was more precise, more energetic… and it hit him. This. This was right. This was what he had designed. This was the story he wanted to tell when he wrote the song. Hyungwon went to his knees and Wonho circled behind him, sliding his hand under the younger man’s chin with an intensity their previous performances had lacked. He met his eyes, holding them for far too long. It felt as though they had an entire conversation in the span of that small moment until Hyungwon tore his gaze away, breaking the contact. Wonho’s eyes followed him still, lingering… but he needed to look upon him a moment longer, to ensure himself it was real. To commit this moment to memory.

They were together again, and it was all he ever wanted.

 _I want you to be in my embrace again_  
_Now turn around again_  
_You're in my embrace just like the beginning_  
_Come back to me_

They left the stage to raucous applause and took a little too long in costume change because they couldn't keep their hands off each other. They finally managed to get ready for the next set and rejoin the others, still beaming and giggling.

From Zero was brought up in the next talk just as it always was, but Wonho deferred to his dance partner, letting him talk about it this time. As was his nature, Hyungwon was a bit short about it, but mentioned of course that it was Wonho’s creation, and the audience went nuts.

Wonho was on the opposite end of their line, so he walked behind the others to stand by Hyungwon, taking him by the shoulders. 

“And now for all of you guys, I've brought you a present!” Wonho exclaimed gleefully, having turned Hyungwon around to show off that his choker was tied off into an elegant bow in the back.

The audience went wild, and once they calmed down, the others talked a bit about the stage, encouraging them to speak more about it. They commented about Hyungwon starting up top, and Wonho explained.

“You know, usually I come down from the top, but since Hyungwon was joining the stage after a long time, I took the bottom so I could show him off for Monbebe.” Wonho paused to that the translator could do his job and give the Monbebes a chance to scream their approval. 

“I laughed in the beginning because we made eye contact and Hyungwon looked confused so I couldn’t hold my expression anymore.” the audience shrieked delightedly, and he could see Hyungwon turning a little red in the cheeks. God, he'd missed this. It was as much a gift for him as it was for their Monbebes.

_I felt love from you first_  
_You can start love with me first_  
_If it can't be reversed I want to start from now_  
_Trust me once more_  
_I want to know everything about you again_

It was late in the evening after their first LA concert when Wonho heard a knock across the room. He looked up, gaping for a moment. Hyungwon stood in the doorway of their hotel bedroom, wearing that ridiculous choker again… the mint green one. He must have snuck it out of wardrobe after the concert, the little troublemaker. But this time, he was wearing it backwards so that the bow was sitting under his chin.

“I brought you a present.” He drawled teasingly, wearing that stupid bow and a cheeky smile and literally nothing else save his Westwood boxers.

Wonho beamed, pulling him in close as the other man climbed into bed with him. He wrapped him up in his arms like he never planned on letting go again.

And he didn't.

_You're in my embrace just like the beginning_  
_Come back to me_

# 

FIN


End file.
